I’m writing this post while waiting for Optus to answer a service call for our business phone. I’ve been waiting for close to an hour so far. It’s not as though I haven’t spoken to a human being. I have, but that was quite some time ago, and even though I’d rung the Optus number for business service difficulties, the owners of the voices were in domestic, and couldn’t help me.
So I’ve been transferred to business, but business is apparently still out to lunch.
This isn’t the first time in the last 24 hous I’ve been subjected to the Optus hold music (which sounds like it’s been designed to be blasted at hypersonic volumes to soften up men of middle-eastern appearance under extraordinary rendition to Egypt for questioning, all sixties circularities and hammond organ, that they probably pipe into their lift as well). No the first time was last night when I couldn’t log on at home on my computer. I think that only took 40 minutes, and then it was to find that the root of the problem was that my Visa card had expired, so if I could just give them the new expiry date they’d have me back on the digital highway.
I would have hung-up by now, except we need the other telephone working so that we can do business. You know, the thing that lets us pay the Optus bills in the first place.
When I get rung, as I do at least once a week, by a young person suggesting that I ought to churn my telehpone account to Telstra, I patiently explain to them that I make that few telephone calls, that if I took the time to assess all the deals offered to me it would cost me more in lost productivity than I would ever gain in telephone savings. Optus is doing their best to redress that balance. In the 10 minutes that it has taken me to write this thus far I’ve edged even closer to being tied up for two hours, all for something which likely as not is their fault and not mine!
We’re supposed to have competition in the telephony market to keep all the operators honest, particularly the 600 pound gorilla in the corner Telstra, but even Telstra couldn’t be any worse than this, could they?
Well, I’ve just about got it off my chest, and the hold music is still going, punctuated by the odd declaration of true contrition by a recorded female voice. That’s where the word “soon” comes in. “Sorry, we’ll be with you soon.” Is that a reasonable or geological time?
I think I’ll finish off here, and email the link off to the Optus complaints department pointing out how well this blog rates in Google. It might get them to act just a little faster than waiting any longer on the phone. And I’ll be talking to Telstra about taking over my business.