Like many voters, my information about the election is coming from quick reads of The Courier-Mail in the morning and viewings of The 7.30 Report at night, when not tempted to watch The Simpsons that is. This minute engagement with the campaign means only a small amount of my attention span is paid to hardly any issues. I would thus like to use my next couple of posts to offer a shallow analysis of a few things, beyond Miss Universe tripping down the steps, that have captured my imagination of late.
Like Nana’s presents at Christmas, there is nothing so expected as tomfoolery within the Queensland Liberal Party. After another member confirmed Senator George Brandis besmirched our Prime Minister by calling him a nasty name, comes revelations the organisation thought about forking out for “whistleblower” Russell Galt’s legal fees. This potential act of charity indicates that if you are in a bit of strife and cannot get legal aid, joining the Liberals might be the next option.
The party’s truncated conference, which occurred from 9.00am to 9.15am this morning, probably did nothing to alter its power-nutty executive, because the, well, not good, but slightly better, folks who run the anti-Santoro factions apparently would not know how to get the numbers if they were given them by Sesame Street’s resident mathematician, The Count.
Also as predictable, for Queenslanders at least, as underwear from grandma, has been Liberal irritation at the Nationals running in urban seats and criticism of Dr Ingrid Tall for her failure to marry a cowboy who prefers livestock like normal sheilas do. Dr Tall’s lesbianism seems to have upset her conservative rival for Brisbane, Nick Withycombe, but his opposition will probably help rather than hinder in the increasingly educated, upwardly mobile and
non-heterosexually attached seat.
Speaking of bigoted nongs, Family First’s Percy Campbell has been trying to win over motorists in Ryan, although only straight ones, while trying to establish a stand-up career. Apparently, Perc amused himself no end by suggesting he needs a lady ultra-right winger to help him woo drivers, lest they think he and his male ‘companion’ are leftie woolly woofters. “As a family party, we don’t want to have two guys standing there. They might think we’re the Greens”, the unfunny fundamentalist said. Alas, Family First is black and white on the outside and black and white on the inside.
Next: Darlene looks at the Greens (I bravely predict they are going to do better than the Democrats), dispenses with the great debate (Australian Idol is doing pop; I know what I’ll be watching) and tackles taxation policy in a way only an Arts graduate whose only seven came from the subject Gender, Sexuality and Culture can do (that is, not at all).
Note: My friend Carmen Seaby, a former editor of Semper Floreat, creator of the zine Ugly Duckling and contributor to Vibewire among other publications, and I (a regular contributor to this blog, who has also been published on the websites Geekgirl and Femspeak) are putting together a feminist zine called Spinster. If you would like to find out more or to contribute, please do not hesitate to contact us at spinstermag@yahoo.com.au. Thanks.